How I Leraned to Stop Worrying and Love Saddam

the man himself was on tv today, testifying in front of some minor iraqi functionary. he's been locked up since february, undoubtedly been subjected to all manner of anal probes, sodium pentathol drips and hot branding irons.
and yet, against all odds, he's kept his fashion game on point.

Today he was rocking a stylishly cut navy suit with a starched open-necked white shirt. He didn't look anything like an imprisoned former tyrant. In fact, he looked like he was about to go sip mojitos in a Hampton's beach house with tom, duke and a bunch of of yale girls. plus, the mans beard game may be without par in the free world. his facial hair reaches his eyes.

Will i be sent to guantanamo for admitting on this forum that i'm jealous of saddam's beard? could it be possible that the recent debacle in Iraq stems from no more than Bush's inability to grow competing whiskers? is there a connection between facial hair and geopolitical factor leadership? And by the way, you know who our last whiskered president was? Teddy muthafuckin' Roosevelt, thats who.

did i mention that i have a mustache?