Mine and Someone's Rashes

What a fabulous treat it is to have Jake and his celebrated ethos of "mine and someone elses" on the SoK. Fantastic story.

However, one issue alluded to with the expectation of further explanation is Jake's rash. Why do all of our friends have rashes now? Is it normal to get a half-joking/half-cautionary email from a friend in Asia who shall remain nameless (aw c'mon everyone knows who it is) letting everyone know he has scabies, detailing the precautionary measures we should take to avoid this malady because he slept on our floors in the rash's nascent phase some weeks back? This is like "Outbreak" and we're those nasty little monkeys, Jake spreading one strain of rash to Russia, Dingles spreading another to Asia, and Sam spreading his asscheeks on a barstool at the Cherry Tree....
Thats right, the Cherry Tavern will henceforth be referred to as the Cherry Tree as per Martha Slaughter's suggestion....
Or maybe its more like "Twelve Monkeys" because the bad guy spreading shit in that was redheaded just like our favorite hairless harbinger of eight-legged itchybugs. And wasn't that bad guy also the guy from the tv show Hack too? Sam loves Hack.

Oh okay, I just went to imdb.com. His name is David Morse. And it appears he was in a movie called "The Slaughter Rule". Everything is finally beginning to make sense.